The weak customer chooses the understandable rack.


“I’m gonna have so much money my grandkids are gonna to play lacrosse. Lacrosse, Liz Lemon.” – Tracy Jordan, 30 Rock

Lacrosse is one of the last, pure ways of saying ‘I have excessive amounts of money’. It’s a hobby that demands a lot of time and money, while it holds no promise of fame and fortune. However, being a lacrosse player earns you a place in a select group of one per centers.

As noted above, lacrosse does not lead to a fiscally stable career, and because of this, rather than being an investment in the future, it is simply an investment in carefree competition. Having enough money to make it pointless to compare financial standings, these parents love to buy their childs way into a sport that will pit them against other affluent children in a battle for nothing more than bragging rights.

Now that’s not to say there is nothing to gain from being the best lacrosse player. Colleges love nothing more than lacrosse players (well perhaps rowers), because they value commitment to particular niches that will in no way benefit you after college. All prestigious colleges across America seem to see selflessness where others might be inclined to see a great deal of wasted time.

The biggest irony of all is the fact that those kids longest exposed to lacrosse are most likely to win the prestigious full-ride scholarships to some of the best colleges in the country. If you can make one assumption about lacrosse players, it’s that they don’t need that blessed money. However, parents will croon and turn a blind eye to the fact that they just robbed some unknown soul somewhere of higher education.

You will see the successful few who played college lacrosse at the division 1 level, gathered around a table at the Cornell Club, trying to work out with one another the mystery that still haunts them today: why did their parents condition them to be the best in a niche that serves no purpose but to flaunt status?


I couldn't say if this scarf would pass inspection...



Scarves hold a special place in the hearts of prep school girls, similar, in a way, to Topsiders. However, the versatility of the scarf make it a dangerous accessory, and one that is bound to be scrutinized and judged. Scarf prejudice has actually led to a sort of ‘scarf scare’ and quickly led prep school girls to buy great quantities of scarves around the fall of ’08.

There seemed, at this time, to be an explosion of scarves across campuses everywhere. It was quickly established that unlike gloves or a hat, scarves could not be worn in repetition and instead, girls found themselves trying to have a different scarf for every day of the week. Walking into a girls bedroom, many would now feature some sort of housing apparatus, dedicated solely to scarves. I’ve even heard tell of scarves being housed around the banister of the bed, and becoming incorporated in activities I won’t disclose here.

The extent to which girls took scarf fashion quickly made it something guys were unable to participate in. Getting your significant other a scarf was out of the question because with all the judgements flying around, it was guaranteed that she was opposed simply because it was you who had found it and not her. The competitive drive scarves instilled in girls became fierce.

As the years went down and the fad dwindled to some degree, some guys even picked up scarves to accessorize. Although they were far and few between, those who were bold enough to try it were seemingly well received, though I won’t believe for a second they ever felt completely at ease decked out with a scarf. To me that is the irony: no one wearing a scarf ever seemed quite at ease, but rather was always brutally conscious of the fact that they were wearing a scarf. The humanity.

I might add, the most useful application of the scarf typically came in covering up hickies from an eventful Tuesday night.


Students Seek Change!

Inspired by a post I read in the New York Times, I decided I’d touch on sleep, as it is a topic on which you can engage any prep schooler anywhere. All over the world.

(NYT Article: http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/10/24/let-sleepy-students-lie/?scp=2&sq=boardingschool&st=cse)

It all balances on the fact that there is no better gift than time. The study Deerfield conducted, along with numerous other prep schools, started the day thirty minutes later and ended the day thirty minutes earlier. Classes were shortened by five minutes to total forty five minutes. Those classes seemed to fly by with just five minutes shaved off, and it felt great to get out of class while it was still light out. But I can attest for myself, and others I knew, that no more sleep was had.

In fact, I would say that it was no coincidence that disciplinary cases for drugs and alcohol reached record highs with the change in schedule. This would reflect the fact that more time led to more fun. Of course there was a heightened sense of well-being on campus because everyone had that little extra spring in their step. Those short five minutes coupled with the chance to see the setting sun summed up to a happier campus atmosphere.

But I can’t pin sleep as the culprit. It’s more due to the general drudge they sit you through each day, and the fact that gaining just a little bit of freedom can seem that sweet

50 Cent

The New Image of 50

Though I’m fairly certain he is completely unaware, 50 Cent has accomplished that which was previously thought impossible: he transformed himself from the gangster rapper persona we came to love with  Get Rich or Die Tryin’, to that of a prep school bro.

Chronology points to his dwindling success in the rap game, coupled with his financial success with the sale of ‘Formula 50’ to Coca Cola in 2007, as the main components that shaped 50 into the bro we see and hear today.

50 embraces the empty passion for the good life that we see so blatantly across prep school campuses today. He acknowledges his great luck in the simplest ways, buying cars, clothes, homes, and then talking about it all as frequently as possible. In his single, I Get Money, 50 sums up his understanding of where his money came from. “I took quarter water, sold it in bottles for two bucks, Coca-Cola came and bought it for billions, what the f**k?” He screams of the same luck prep school kids can’t rationalize, as they bask in the warmth of fiscal freedom.

He completes the transformation  by taking new adventures. “Now I play on boats in the south of France, baby, St. Tropez.” Just like so many lost prep schoolers who chose first a gap year to travel and find themselves, which quickly developed into a life of hopeless wandering through much of Europe and Asia all on their parents black card, 50 has taken to a life of extravagant wandering, if not in a much less subtle, more celebratory manner.

The New 50: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0JIJFrBpWg&feature=related

I lost count of how many times he said the word ‘money’ … can anyone give me a rough estimate?

Sperry Topsiders

Classic Sperry Topsider

Sperry Topsiders.

Topsiders have, somewhere in history, interwoven themselves into boarding school life. They’re a yearlong delight, whether you’re wearing them barefoot in the spring and fall, or wearing them with ski socks in the winter.

Lax Bros will rock topsiders with the most passion. Incorporating them into any outfit, it’s not uncommon to wear seersucker shorts, nike mid-calves and a pair of topsiders. Other will rock them regardless of the occasion, from formals to accompanying sweatpants.

Others will wear the more formal topsiders with khakis as a courteous regard for the school’s dress code. These topsiders complete the look of the most pretentious prep schoolers alongside a blazer.

Girls begin to wear topsiders with jeans as the weather got colder, but before the weather calls for bean boots. The girls hockey team would seemingly follow a dress code including team sweats and topsiders.

Somewhere along the line, topsiders became an essential to a prep school student. Whether they were first put on you as an infant, before you can remember, or whether you first realized the essential role they played once you arrived on campus, everyone during their years in boarding school will covet a pair of Sperry Topsiders.

Undoubtably, someone will come back to school with a flashy pair of topsiders, either in an unorthodox color or a variation on the classic, and everyone will feel inclined to snicker as they go by for the first few weeks. However, upon returning home the following summer, those who scoffed will most likely pick up a pair because they were impressed all along, but were too self conscious to try something so bold at a school where such a stunt could leave you ostracized.

A "bold" Sperry

Ray Ban Vision

Wayfarer Square


Ray Bans.

Ray Bans inevitably emerge each spring as kids return from March break. The first few to wear them will undoubtably claim that the glare from the melting snow hurts their eyes, and everyone else will nod in accordance as though no one’s aware that the snow that’s left is caked in dirt.

The Lax Bros will return from spring break training camp all sporting wayfarers of varying styles, diversifying the homogenous group into three or so categories of original, square cut and new style. The complete lax bro image: mid-calves, pastels, a lax piney and some Ray Bans decked out with some croakies (note previous post).

Preppy girls will come out in wayfarers of varying styles varying from the tortuous frame to flamboyant colors. The girls that would go lay on the lawns and tan in their bathing suits typically opted for the aviator style. They used to claim it helped in some manner when they were staring directly at the sun.

Then there were those who had the style that you get for twenty bucks on a street near NYU. They would laugh and say they were picking a pair up soon if anyone were asshole enough to bring it up. They ranged from a dream to a destiny, but everyone has Ray Bans on their mind.

That Ray Ban Vision: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7RzYCHYIts